This is so true.....

So I have been following this blog zenhabits and they write about some real cool stuff....stuff that we all can follow in our lives. the recent one is this . It talks about starting slowly and how productivity is over-rated. I can totally relate to it. Not because I am fiercely productive and want to slow down but I have realised the importance of starting a day slowly and it brings peace...real peace!!

You all there...read it and like it and follow it and be HAPPY!!

To be or not to be..

Well its not exactly that serious a question but still an important decision point. I recently gave an exam and though people are saying its a decent score, I am at the crossroads of retaking the exam or using the score I have with me. I have been breaking my head over this and have to decide in another 2-3 days.
frankly speaking, I would have been much happier if I had got the score I wanted in first go itself. Now if I decide to retake, it means one more month of studying and hell who wants that. I have other things in mind which  I want to do and may not be able to take out time for them. Other things like:

1. Join mandarin classes
2. Learn how to swim
3. Read more and write more

Well buts that's how it is. Got to make things move and if I do decide to retake, I am still not giving up on the small list above. I may start them late but I am doing them in any case.

Wish me luck guys!!

Mortality Attack

I am having a mortality attack right now. I am not sure if its a real thing and id it happens to people frequently, but it has happened to me couple to times before and its happening right now.

The symptoms of mortality attack are:

1. You realize that life is too short to do all the things you want to.
2. You think that ultimately you have to die and no body really knows what happens after you die. And then you start thinking that whatever you are doing - for yourself or for people around you - is that enough or is there even a need to do all that. Or we should just flow with the things and see how life takes its course or should you maximize this time. And even if you want to maximize the time - what exactly do you mean by maximizing.
   
3. You think that your loved ones are unhappy and then you start questioning/blaming yourself for it.
4. You think that there is so much unrest in the world such as abject poverty, unhappiness, hatred that you start thinking whether you deserve this life or you should give away everything for a better cause. Is leaving everything the better cause or being with the people who love you and whom you love and keeping them happy is the better cause. This feeling has come to me so many times that it sometimes becomes unbearable. Specially when I see poor people who are weak and helpless, I really can't justify the food I am eating.

Please note that these feelings are not to prove to people that I care etc., but these are very selfish emotions because I really want to look at myself and say that I deserve to be in this world. And these are very ambitious things, even more ambitious than getting back to back promotions to becoming the youngest CEO. Because this is a fight within me - a fight to decide a path. The fight to whether give in to mortality or to stand and spread love. To go all out to make this world a better place or to just stay in the surroundings and keep people around me happy. I should confess here that most of times I am very selfish and I want to buy the best clothes or to stay in nice homes. The materialistically selfish me takes over the other me.

I have had these or similar symptoms before. For the first time when I was a kid and there were floods all around and people were dying. The kid in me was happy because the school was closed for more than a month but the cynic in me wanted to join the armed forces who were distributing food so that I could just contribute even in the smallest way. I did not share my wish with anyone because the kids around me were happy to be away from school (like one part of me) that I thought I would look foolish if I say something like this and which kid wants to look foolish. And thus I gave in for the not so good and selfish me.

This has always been the conclusion of the mortality attack. I look at the variables and sometimes I get scared of the tough life I might face if I don't follow the obvious path. Since I am confused about the right thing to do and i really don't have the guts to go all in, I am thinking of taking a middle path and I promise to you all and to myself to do the following two things:

1. To be more giving in relationships. To be absolutely selfless and do all I can for the people I love and for those who love me. No hidden agenda.
2. To at least make efforts to do something for the world. To make difference in someones life - directly or indirectly.

The promises have been made and will keep you posted on the updates. I hope there are updates and they are worth mentioning. Please pray for me people.

Love,
SM

"Shift + Delete"

I am not very good at technology stuff...I mean even the computers agree to this, they tend to slow down or for that matter deny to boot when they see me coming. And I am really serious about this (ppl dont to take me very seriously on certain matters :) ). But one thing I have really learnt from my system is SHIFT+DELETE. Its so cool. You can permanently delete the stuff from the system that you don't want. There isn't any scope for having the undesirable stuff at Recycle Bin.
I am learning to apply the same in real life as well. The thoughts, disasterous moments, bad hair days and ppl's comments on that, painful meetings with the boss, arguments with mom, disagreements with friends and above all, things that make me feel guilty...I am just trying to apply SHIFT+DELETE to certain things and it will never come back to me. It would be a WOW moment if I succeed in that and probably would write a book on the same and that book would become a bestseller....Pollyanna you know...cant stop dreaming..:).
Well the status as of now is that I have been able to apply it to some smaller things and not the sacred and serious ones. Actually, I stilll have to figure out the stuff I need to dump. But whenever I am done with this exercise, would surely share the take aways at this platform (for the privileged few, who dare to read my blog).
Till then ENJOY..!!!