"Shift + Delete"

I am not very good at technology stuff...I mean even the computers agree to this, they tend to slow down or for that matter deny to boot when they see me coming. And I am really serious about this (ppl dont to take me very seriously on certain matters :) ). But one thing I have really learnt from my system is SHIFT+DELETE. Its so cool. You can permanently delete the stuff from the system that you don't want. There isn't any scope for having the undesirable stuff at Recycle Bin.
I am learning to apply the same in real life as well. The thoughts, disasterous moments, bad hair days and ppl's comments on that, painful meetings with the boss, arguments with mom, disagreements with friends and above all, things that make me feel guilty...I am just trying to apply SHIFT+DELETE to certain things and it will never come back to me. It would be a WOW moment if I succeed in that and probably would write a book on the same and that book would become a bestseller....Pollyanna you know...cant stop dreaming..:).
Well the status as of now is that I have been able to apply it to some smaller things and not the sacred and serious ones. Actually, I stilll have to figure out the stuff I need to dump. But whenever I am done with this exercise, would surely share the take aways at this platform (for the privileged few, who dare to read my blog).
Till then ENJOY..!!!

On Confounding Contradictions...

Often people tell me that I have got a very contradictory personality. I am super extrovert at one end and amazingly conservative on the other. I am always accessible most of times and completely out of reach at some other times. Well, if you call these confounding contradictions in my personality, then yes...I agree!!! But after a series of introspection sessions, I realized that these contradictions are not so loud and damaging. In fact, this is what I am composed of, this is what I am so proud of myself...this is ME..!!! This is my secret to happiness.
I can be a complete party person, be the life of a party if required and at the same time, I can be a person who needs to be home, take care of thousands of small and big things forgetting the material joys of life.
I can intimidate the opposite sex to an extent that , he feels disparaged but can be so understanding, loving and submissive that he might think that I have got all the powers of compromise of the world.
I can be somebody who epitomizes feminism and surely enter the so called "only for men" arena with perfection that nobody can ever feel I don't belong there.
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Wanted to continue writing with this list but first review of the post says that this is enough..I should not talk about I, ME, MYSELF to such an extent that people start predicting me or stop reading my blog ;). But being myself and being the way I have described here always keeps me at ease. I can survive with minimum expectations and still enjoy the life at its fullest. I strongly feel that people get bored of themselves or things around them if they live in a bullet point version, people who think they know what they want and how they want to do it. After sometime it tends to become so mechanical that it no more sounds like a LIFE. I do agree that clarity in thoughts and ambitions is required, but the more important question is that how do you "tag" a thought or an individual and for how long can you hold it. Being "contradictory" exposes me to all the aspects and I feel sorted. A 3D movie is always more appreciated than the single dimension pictures..!!!

This all sounds dangerously philosophical..but then its my blog and would write anything I feel about..:)

I am not a spendthrift....But I don't know where my salary goes...!!!

No pun intended. The question is really serious. I have made so many efforts to be calculative in my spending and saving money for the worst (well, the worst is NOW coz the banking industry is going through a turmoil), but all in vain. And people I am really NOT a spendthrift...!!! This fact hit me yesterday when someone told me that I need not be dependent on my salary as I would have saved enough after the 2.5 yrs of hard work (wat..i did put lot of hard work..).

My fixed expenses are 1/3rd of my salary, which I keep aside in the beginning of the month...I don't drink, don't smoke, don't have a great liking for jewelery or expensive clothes, a part of my mobile bill is paid by the company...but still the bank account shows dismal numbers. I really wanted to put down the cost sheet here but decided against it for understandable reasons. I am gonna do this exercise again this time. I am going to account every expense I make so that I can atleast be aware of my outflows. Every single penny needs to be accounted..!!!
GOD, please give me strength to manage my finances...AMEN!!!

Damn Orkut...!!!

Well...when I logged in to internet I thought I would write about my b'day...my 25th b'day....(gosh, I feel so old) but after checking my scraps on orkut, my mind changed. I went back one year..10th October 2007, my 24th birthday, me and my friends were not that active on orkut last year so I got uncountable calls to wish me b'day. When I say uncountable, it means I started getting calls at 6 in the morning and they lasted at around 9 in the night. My voice had started breaking up by 6 PM because of the no. phone calls I had to attend but I felt so special.

I always think that human beings are escapists by nature. And the same was proved this year on my birthday...grrrr...I got so many "happy birthday to you, have a blast" scraps and the phone calls reduced proportionalely...Damn Orkut..!!! I love phone calls on my birthday...why the hell do we have mobile phones then..!!! I think the time is not far when we would invite laptops to b'day parties and have drinks on video conference.( Well, fruit punch for me :)).

Anyways, this bithday was celebrated with real people at 10 Downing Street (Retro Night) and ws amazing fun. We all danced away to glory to songs atleast I don't understand...am not into music anyways..)

Wishing me and everybody lots of happiness, success and phone calls on bithday...!!!

I Me Myself..

The woods are lovely, dark and deep;
But I have promises to keep;
And miles to fo before I sleep;
And miles to go before I sleep.

- Robert Frost

These lines are so true and relevant. Today I am actually feeling the meaning.

The Crosswords Experience..!!!

I often claim that I love reading books..you know....almost all kinds of books...fiction, psychology, tarot reading etc etc, however I rarely remember what the book was all about when I am done with it.

I also claim (to myself) that I like observing people around me. Different kind of individuals behaving in unique manners always amuse me. I think...why is he/she talking in that specific manner?, what is going on in his/her mind?, what if I was interacting to that particular person?....and then I go in deeper details and try to understand the dynamics behind human behavior and its consequences. I also try to generalize certain class of individuals and their behaviours based on my and only my logic and understanding.(would write more about this in detail later..this post is dedicated to The Crosswords Experience)

Now that I have set up a relevant background (its an assumption), lets get back to the main point...

Date: 25th May 2008
Time : 9.00 PM
Venue: Road no 10, Banjara hills
What am I doing there : walking towards home...

Flashback:

Just closed a deal, reported it to my boss and am kind of happy so I decide to go home little early. Its 5.30 PM and I reach the City Center to buy some grocery. The ground floor has foodworld and 2nd or 3rd floor (I dont remember exactly) has crosswords. So before buying grocery I think of checking out the latest books.
I come across "The Kalam Effect" by P.M.Nair. Looks like a very ordinary book but I want to read about Mr. Kalam, I have always wanted to. So I keep that book in my hand and start looking for something more interesting. I am actually searching for an auto biography by Mrs. Sudha Murthy. I dont get it so I decide to read few chapters of The Kalam Effect and then leave.

I sit on a sofa near the entrance. A man in his 60s is sitting on the Yellow sofa besides my Red sofa. He seems completely engrossed into whatever he is reading. Then begins the experience of a lifetime. I read one chapter, then another and then another and so on...just cant stop reading. I guess its not about the book but the atmosphere. I just realize that I am doing the things I like most...reading and that too around a bunch of people to observe. There are three girls, just finished their exams (I overheard..I know its bad but..whatever) and are scrolling through fashion magazines. I like their dressing style. There is this guy from the crosswords who is talking to a Muslim lady(I assume so because she is wearing a burkha) near the entrance. She wants to leave but he wants to talk to her about something. I am again listening to their conversation.
The book explains that Mr. Kalam is an extremely good human being and he insists that whoever is recruited in his team is a good human being.
The Muslim lady asks the guy to accompany her till taxi but the guy is on duty so he cant step out. The lady leaves with a bad mood. P.M. Nair talks about an incidence where he asks his team to mend a see-saw in one of the parks because a girl had complained him about the same. I am moved.
Now a firang enters the store. She directly walks to a particular section. I want to know which book she wants to buy. She picks up a book written on SRK. What????
Its aroung 8.15 and I am done with 3/4th of the book. I feel guilty. Do I want to read the entire book here and leave without actually buying it. I continue. The three girls are still here. I guess they are waiting for somebody. A guy enters the store, french beard, ultra low waist jeans, puma shoes, a very loose brown shirt and with a "I am a rockstar" look on his face. He hugs two of the three girls, well not exactly hugs them but in a gesture of hello, nice to meet you. The third girl avoids him with a plain hello. They all walk out and the guy is walking with the girl who avoided him. Rocket science is easier to understand than human relationships!!!
I am done with the book and step out. The old man o Yellow sofa is still there. Am feeling good, really good. I still donot know its the effect of heavenly qualities of Mr. Kalam or the ambience. I decide to take a walk to home...alone!!!

Creativity is on leave..!!!

Long time, I havn't written anything here...and even now words, feelings, memories are not coming to me easily...just cant think of writing anything...want to write about the amazing GOA Trip, about my experience of watching cricket match live for the first time about the new book I am reading and so on...

I will be back!!!