Mortality Attack

I am having a mortality attack right now. I am not sure if its a real thing and id it happens to people frequently, but it has happened to me couple to times before and its happening right now.

The symptoms of mortality attack are:

1. You realize that life is too short to do all the things you want to.
2. You think that ultimately you have to die and no body really knows what happens after you die. And then you start thinking that whatever you are doing - for yourself or for people around you - is that enough or is there even a need to do all that. Or we should just flow with the things and see how life takes its course or should you maximize this time. And even if you want to maximize the time - what exactly do you mean by maximizing.
   
3. You think that your loved ones are unhappy and then you start questioning/blaming yourself for it.
4. You think that there is so much unrest in the world such as abject poverty, unhappiness, hatred that you start thinking whether you deserve this life or you should give away everything for a better cause. Is leaving everything the better cause or being with the people who love you and whom you love and keeping them happy is the better cause. This feeling has come to me so many times that it sometimes becomes unbearable. Specially when I see poor people who are weak and helpless, I really can't justify the food I am eating.

Please note that these feelings are not to prove to people that I care etc., but these are very selfish emotions because I really want to look at myself and say that I deserve to be in this world. And these are very ambitious things, even more ambitious than getting back to back promotions to becoming the youngest CEO. Because this is a fight within me - a fight to decide a path. The fight to whether give in to mortality or to stand and spread love. To go all out to make this world a better place or to just stay in the surroundings and keep people around me happy. I should confess here that most of times I am very selfish and I want to buy the best clothes or to stay in nice homes. The materialistically selfish me takes over the other me.

I have had these or similar symptoms before. For the first time when I was a kid and there were floods all around and people were dying. The kid in me was happy because the school was closed for more than a month but the cynic in me wanted to join the armed forces who were distributing food so that I could just contribute even in the smallest way. I did not share my wish with anyone because the kids around me were happy to be away from school (like one part of me) that I thought I would look foolish if I say something like this and which kid wants to look foolish. And thus I gave in for the not so good and selfish me.

This has always been the conclusion of the mortality attack. I look at the variables and sometimes I get scared of the tough life I might face if I don't follow the obvious path. Since I am confused about the right thing to do and i really don't have the guts to go all in, I am thinking of taking a middle path and I promise to you all and to myself to do the following two things:

1. To be more giving in relationships. To be absolutely selfless and do all I can for the people I love and for those who love me. No hidden agenda.
2. To at least make efforts to do something for the world. To make difference in someones life - directly or indirectly.

The promises have been made and will keep you posted on the updates. I hope there are updates and they are worth mentioning. Please pray for me people.

Love,
SM

Its complicated..

What the hell..it was such a long break from the writing that I started thinking that I am just having a writer's block (the feeling is good though as only real writers with real stuff to write get writers block and however I am no close to the real writing stuff, it feels good to think that I may have a writer's block...and for all those who think it is not, I don't care. I would like to keep it this way :))
Before I really get on to writing what I came here for and which is precisely the title of this post, I think I should just mention where was I? and the answer is between my last post and now - I got married, moved countries and became a full fledged wife and honestly its not that complicated :)

So what it looks complicated, let me see if I can make it easier. You guessed it...I am going to give top 3 pointers on relationship:

1. KISS : Keep It Simple, Stupid. Its complicated because we can not simplify it. Keep it open, cool and honest. This is about relationship and not a job interview where you need to bluff (well don't you). Your partner is looking for the real you - good or bad, beautiful or ugly, smart or dumb - it really doesn't matter as long as its the real you.

2. You like it, I like it : This is original and super effective too. There is nothing sweeter than the art of giving and trust me the one who gives is the one who gets more. It might be the smallest of gestures but then the returns are exponential and the biggest fruit is that you feel happy from inside. Try it...if it doesn't work, come and tell me.

3. Unconditional love : One of my dear friend's father used to say that love is always unconditional. If its not unconditional, its not love and you might be in a wrong situation. This also translates to "don't have any hidden agenda for loving the person". Its like either you love a person or you don't. There are no reasons and no gray areas. Get it. Good.

4. Unique chemistry : Every couple's chemistry is unique, which also means that whatever gyan I am giving is of no use...but that's the irony of life too :).
What works for them might not work for you and never make situations bad by comparing. Look for what works for you and then stick to it.
I know you are wondering why the fourth point - its the bonus for reading the post till the end.

Happy loving!
SM

Bye bye Mumbai....

So my second stint @ Mumbai has also come to an end now. Tomorrow being my last day here. It was nice staying in Mumbai this time and of course I am gonna miss it. Here comes the list of things I am going to miss most:

1. Watching plays (Prithvi theater is the best)
2. Travelling in local trains on weekends
3. Ordering food from classic veg
4. Eating golgappe on my way to home
5. Washing clothes at Abhishek and Meenakshi's place
6. My office @ BKC. Specially the elaborate lunches and few walks around the building
7. Listening to radio daily on the way to office and back
8. Marine drive
9. Phoenix Mall
10. Shopping for cheap clothes and footwear at Linking Road
11. Being stared at by women. Its harmless, they just want to know what would be the worth of clothes the other one is wearing
12. Vada pav

Memories galore!!!

Arrange marriage: Answer these questions first...

Are you thinking of going the arrange marriage way??

Are you wondering what will the groom/his family ask you??

Are you not so happy with your answers given to prospective groom??

I present a crash course in answering those tricky psychoanalytical questions. Issued in general interest of all single girls trying to find guys via the arranged by parents route.

Before the questionnaire, some symbols that I would be using and there interpretations:

(G) : This is typically asked by the prospective groom

(F) : This is typically asked by the family

Question 1: Can you cook? (G) & (F)

Answer: Even if you don't know cooking, say yes. Cooking is not rocket science and even if it is, nobody is going to test you on this before marriage.

Question 2: How much do you earn? (F)

Answer: This is for all those girls who could manage to survive on their own. And the guy's family is actually trying to compare your worth with their son's worth.

Well, here you should tell the truth and disclose your CTC and gross monthly income along with the tax you have to pay. Hike the package by including loan amount and superannuation.

Question 3: Do you drink? (G)

Answer: No one from the family will ask this question as they all think that their son is a teetotaller. This will be asked by the guy. Now here lies a little trick. You should be proactive enough to ask this from him first. If the guy says yes, then you should say that you have tasted it but you don't really drink (even if you can't sleep without two shots of whisky). And if the guy says NO, then girl you are not even supposed to know how to spell alcohol leave aside knowing the names of brands and types of alcohol available.

Question 4: Did you ever have a boy friend? (G)

Answer: Hmmmm...this question can have two inferences:

A) The guy wants to indirectly know whether you are virgin or not.

B) The guy wants to test your interpersonal skills. For some of them its really difficult to digest that you have been absolutely single throughout your life.

And the only way out of this question is that dodge the question. Don't answer it directly in the first meeting. If things go well, you can be honest later on.

Question 5: Whom are you closest in the family? (G)

Answer: I am not able to understand why guys ask this question. I don't know about others but at least I have been asked this several times. No short cut answer to this one. Say the truth or whatever you want to.

Question 6: What are your future plans? (F) & (G)

Answer: Here I am referring to the career aspirations only. The family wants to know if the girl is way too ambitious and might forget to take care (read cook food) of their son post marriage. The guy sometimes wants to know the same and sometimes genuinely wants to know your career interests. Well this is my favourite question. There are three scenarios to it:

A) If this is asked by the family, give them a typical MBA style answer by beating around the bush and never letting them know your real ambitions. It will work.

B) If this is asked by the guy in the first meeting and within the first 15 minutes of meeting, tell him that you are super ambitious person (even if you are not) and all you want to do in your life is to focus on your work. This is because the guy is not worth you. He wants a maid and not a companion.

C) If the guy asks this to you in third or fourth discussion, tell him about your actual plans coz now he is really interested to know more about you. Here the things might turn to a finalisation stage if the frequencies match.

Question 7: Are you staying in a PG? (F) & (G)

Answer: The family wants to ask if you are way too independent (if you are staying in a rented apartment) or you are tamed. And the guy wants to know whether there are guys also staying with you. Tell the truth only if you are not staying with guys.

Question 8: What do you do in free time? (G)

Answer: This is primarily asked by the guy but sometimes somebody from the family also might ask. The family would want to know whether you are a party animal and stay out late in the night. The guy wants to know if you like watching those saas bahu serials or not.

If family asks, tell them you like to read books or watch a movie with friends. Don't say cooking even its true coz it creates suspicion as its too good to be true.

If the guy asks, tell him about the movie part, add shopping and watching cricket to it. Mentioning cricket will give you double credit. But be smart enough to change the topic if the guy gets in to details.

Question 9: What is your height? (F) & (G)

Answer: This question has special relevance in Indian context. I really don't understand the fascination of tall guy's parents with height. Even if you have mentioned the height before, they will still ask you the height again. And in some cases they might ask you to remove your sandals and disclose your actual height as if this the only thing which will decide your fate and you will feel as if you have smuggled something and have been hiding it. If they just ask you, tell them your actual height. If they ask you to remove your sandals, give them a bad look and show them your real height. You can also choose to do otherwise, absolutely accepted.

I hope this will help somebody.

Cheers,

SM

P.S. I am going to marry a guy who doesn't care about all this crap...:)

tan (10) tada (10) tan(10)

Dint get the title..well this is...wait for it...my birthday in the year 2010....yes you got it right...my next birthday is on 10-10-10. How awesome is this!!!

I am always excited about my birthday but this one is special.. isn't it??? Well, Ok, I would get 27 years old which feels more closer to 30 than 25, which also reminds me that probably the best and being single parts of life may be over soon, which also means that I would have to take more care of my skin and health ofcourse. But what the hell, its 10-10-10. I am amongst the few lucky who will get this chance. And I am the chosen one...:):).

Well ppl, I want my 10-10-10 b'day to be very special. A memory forever. So I need contributions from people (If anyone still reads my dormant blog). Plus also let me know if anyone else has had this experience and what did he/she do to make it super special (or I am the only one who is over reacting..:)) or there is somebody who will join the band of the chosen one in near future. Lets try to make it grand for all of us.

I have got some of the contributions from some of my friends like:

• Cut the cake at 10:10:10 PM
• Get a personalised T shirt with the date and your name written on it and get it signed by friends. I would prefer if I get this as a gift
• Have a theme party revolving around No. 10

Anticipating some awesome ideas!!!

Cheers,

SM

Birthday-Countdowns

P.S. I know its too early to plan, but I am very very excited...:)

tan (10 tada tan

2 states...a bollywood style masala stuff...

1. Loved 5 point someone: fresh and original

2. Hated one night @ call centre: the art of storytelling was missing..may be coz the story itself was missing

3. 3 mistakes of my life : Mr. Bhagat is not a good story teller

4.2 states: Chetan Bhagat is a good story teller, but only things that have happened to/with him in real life.

2 states: ita not a book, its a bollywood movie

Mr. Bhagat has taken the "make movie from my book" thing little seriously and has written 2 states in such a way that a bollywood producer would want to make a movie out of it. His previous 2 books have clearly proved that he lacks the creative instinct of creating a story but the other two proved that he can narrate the already happened stories with panache and lots of spice of course. At the outset it seems that he has thrown his personal life at the disposal of the readers, but I think the major triggers like interstate marriage, may be his little sour relationship with his father are real and the rest of story is built around that. Sometimes exaggerating certain facts and sometimes excluding some aspects, which is absolutely fine as the book is supposed to be "inspired by his life and considered as fiction." A decent time pass short reading for the weekend. One can buy it coz its really cheap (95 bucks only) but I would suggest that if somebody has already bought it, borrow and read. I did the same..:)

Cheers,

SM