Arrange marriage: Answer these questions first...

Are you thinking of going the arrange marriage way??

Are you wondering what will the groom/his family ask you??

Are you not so happy with your answers given to prospective groom??

I present a crash course in answering those tricky psychoanalytical questions. Issued in general interest of all single girls trying to find guys via the arranged by parents route.

Before the questionnaire, some symbols that I would be using and there interpretations:

(G) : This is typically asked by the prospective groom

(F) : This is typically asked by the family

Question 1: Can you cook? (G) & (F)

Answer: Even if you don't know cooking, say yes. Cooking is not rocket science and even if it is, nobody is going to test you on this before marriage.

Question 2: How much do you earn? (F)

Answer: This is for all those girls who could manage to survive on their own. And the guy's family is actually trying to compare your worth with their son's worth.

Well, here you should tell the truth and disclose your CTC and gross monthly income along with the tax you have to pay. Hike the package by including loan amount and superannuation.

Question 3: Do you drink? (G)

Answer: No one from the family will ask this question as they all think that their son is a teetotaller. This will be asked by the guy. Now here lies a little trick. You should be proactive enough to ask this from him first. If the guy says yes, then you should say that you have tasted it but you don't really drink (even if you can't sleep without two shots of whisky). And if the guy says NO, then girl you are not even supposed to know how to spell alcohol leave aside knowing the names of brands and types of alcohol available.

Question 4: Did you ever have a boy friend? (G)

Answer: Hmmmm...this question can have two inferences:

A) The guy wants to indirectly know whether you are virgin or not.

B) The guy wants to test your interpersonal skills. For some of them its really difficult to digest that you have been absolutely single throughout your life.

And the only way out of this question is that dodge the question. Don't answer it directly in the first meeting. If things go well, you can be honest later on.

Question 5: Whom are you closest in the family? (G)

Answer: I am not able to understand why guys ask this question. I don't know about others but at least I have been asked this several times. No short cut answer to this one. Say the truth or whatever you want to.

Question 6: What are your future plans? (F) & (G)

Answer: Here I am referring to the career aspirations only. The family wants to know if the girl is way too ambitious and might forget to take care (read cook food) of their son post marriage. The guy sometimes wants to know the same and sometimes genuinely wants to know your career interests. Well this is my favourite question. There are three scenarios to it:

A) If this is asked by the family, give them a typical MBA style answer by beating around the bush and never letting them know your real ambitions. It will work.

B) If this is asked by the guy in the first meeting and within the first 15 minutes of meeting, tell him that you are super ambitious person (even if you are not) and all you want to do in your life is to focus on your work. This is because the guy is not worth you. He wants a maid and not a companion.

C) If the guy asks this to you in third or fourth discussion, tell him about your actual plans coz now he is really interested to know more about you. Here the things might turn to a finalisation stage if the frequencies match.

Question 7: Are you staying in a PG? (F) & (G)

Answer: The family wants to ask if you are way too independent (if you are staying in a rented apartment) or you are tamed. And the guy wants to know whether there are guys also staying with you. Tell the truth only if you are not staying with guys.

Question 8: What do you do in free time? (G)

Answer: This is primarily asked by the guy but sometimes somebody from the family also might ask. The family would want to know whether you are a party animal and stay out late in the night. The guy wants to know if you like watching those saas bahu serials or not.

If family asks, tell them you like to read books or watch a movie with friends. Don't say cooking even its true coz it creates suspicion as its too good to be true.

If the guy asks, tell him about the movie part, add shopping and watching cricket to it. Mentioning cricket will give you double credit. But be smart enough to change the topic if the guy gets in to details.

Question 9: What is your height? (F) & (G)

Answer: This question has special relevance in Indian context. I really don't understand the fascination of tall guy's parents with height. Even if you have mentioned the height before, they will still ask you the height again. And in some cases they might ask you to remove your sandals and disclose your actual height as if this the only thing which will decide your fate and you will feel as if you have smuggled something and have been hiding it. If they just ask you, tell them your actual height. If they ask you to remove your sandals, give them a bad look and show them your real height. You can also choose to do otherwise, absolutely accepted.

I hope this will help somebody.

Cheers,

SM

P.S. I am going to marry a guy who doesn't care about all this crap...:)